The thing about the spiritual realm is that you will get what you put into it.
If one thinks “I just wish I had the ability to trust and use my faith” then the reactive-oriented physics of the spiritual realms will thus cause them to experience that which they have said and nothing more.
But, if one thinks “I may not understand it, but according the Word of God, I do have the Spirit of power – the Spirit of faith – in me and thus I can step out to believe and faith will indeed come to me in that moment! And, if it does not work the first time, then it will work after a few attempts”
THAT mindset IS a mindset of faith, and anyone can think like that.
So, just know that you like most others, just got punked out by the Enemy, causing you to see this stuff as if it were so hard it was nearly impossible.
Remember this:
“6 But the righteousness based on faith speaks as follows: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’ (that is, to bring Christ down), 7 or ‘Who will descend into the abyss?’ (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead).” 8 But what does it say? “. The word is NEAR you, IN your mouth and in your heart”—that is, the word of faith which we are preaching,” (Romans 10:6-8)
Sis, you have faith, though it is not felt.
And, you have Him, though He is not seen.
Thus, you have the seeds of the promise of John 14:12 in you RIGHT NOW.